losing a child; four years later April 7, 2009
Posted by guinever in christianity, death, grief, healing.trackback
It’s Tuesday of Holy week. Four years ago, Abby died the Tuesday between Palm Sunday and Easter.
Quite frankly, today has been like any other normal day… cooking breakfast, checking math pages, watching a Moody Science film, making lunch (today it was baked chicken drumsticks, beans and homemade bread with cookies for dessert,) walking through a 5 paragraph essay with my 4th grader, letting the kids have cheerios for dinner so I don’t have to make something, answering e-mails, doing stickers with the toddler, listening to Latin prayers, shuffling the little ones off to bed. Discovering another grieving blog. I could go on and on.
That’s today. But the last couple months, there have been more tears than normal. This is because February started my “season of grief.” Overall, I’m doing ok. The tears may come but they haven’t translated into lengthy bouts of depression or walking around feeling numb, having to put one foot in front of the other, forcing myself to get out of bed in the morning. Life is better and easier than that.
So all this to say, time has lessened the pain…a little. It’s not gone, will never be, but I’m healthier. I’m walking in God’s love, sustained by His grace.
(((hug)))
I have checked back here so many times between your last entry and this, waiting…waiting to know how you are really doing. I should have asked, but I don’t always know when or how or can’t at the moment. Thank you for continuing to open your heart to others, Guinever. I love you.
You know it gets easier to deal with everyday life, the loss is still at times hard, my son has been gone for almost 16 years, I still find that I have tearing times, mostly around his birthday and the day I had to lay him to rest. You have moments where you will wonder what would they be like? When you look at other children their ages.
One of the things that I found that helped me if helping those who are starting to go through what I already have. The first time doing it was hard after that it has helped me, it gives you a chance to get what you feel out. Along with helping them know what they may experiance.