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losing a child; four years later April 7, 2009

Posted by guinever in christianity, death, grief, healing.

It’s Tuesday of Holy week. Four years ago, Abby died the Tuesday between Palm Sunday and Easter.

Quite frankly, today has been like any other normal day… cooking breakfast, checking math pages, watching a Moody Science film, making lunch (today it was baked chicken drumsticks, beans and homemade bread with cookies for dessert,) walking through a 5 paragraph essay with my 4th grader, letting the kids have cheerios for dinner so I don’t have to make something, answering e-mails, doing stickers with the toddler,  listening to Latin prayers,  shuffling the little ones off to bed. Discovering another grieving blog. I could go on and on.

That’s today. But the last couple months, there have been more tears than normal. This is because February started my “season of grief.” Overall, I’m doing ok. The tears may come but they haven’t translated into lengthy bouts of depression or walking around feeling numb, having to put one foot in front of the other, forcing myself to get out of bed in the morning.  Life is better and easier than that.

So all this to say, time has lessened the pain…a little. It’s not gone, will never be, but I’m healthier.  I’m walking in God’s love, sustained by His grace.


1. teatimewithliz - April 8, 2009



2. Karla - April 8, 2009

I have checked back here so many times between your last entry and this, waiting…waiting to know how you are really doing. I should have asked, but I don’t always know when or how or can’t at the moment. Thank you for continuing to open your heart to others, Guinever. I love you.


3. T - July 31, 2009

You know it gets easier to deal with everyday life, the loss is still at times hard, my son has been gone for almost 16 years, I still find that I have tearing times, mostly around his birthday and the day I had to lay him to rest. You have moments where you will wonder what would they be like? When you look at other children their ages.
One of the things that I found that helped me if helping those who are starting to go through what I already have. The first time doing it was hard after that it has helped me, it gives you a chance to get what you feel out. Along with helping them know what they may experiance.


4. sheriperl - September 19, 2010

I lost my son Danny on July 1, 2008 to an overdose. He was 22. In dedication to him I formed the first and only Prayer Registry for parents who have lost children.

Please see my website and read about The Prayer Registry. This free website service is dedicated to all of the families who have lost children, whatever age that child was when they passed. This site registers the anniversary day of our children’s crossing. The members of this online
community,the Prayer Team, have the opportunity to honor their child’s legacy, connect with other bereaved parents, and participate in world-wide group prayer for every registered loved one on the anniversary day of their passing.

There is no charge for this service; it is my sincere hope that every bereaved parent who registers a child will join the Prayer Team and be a source of prayer for all of the children on the other side. Each time another child is
registered, the Prayer Team grows larger and stronger.

Please email Sheri at theprayerregistry@gmail.com to register your loved one on The Prayer Registry. By registering, you will have a forum to connect to other
bereaved parents and you will be able to upload comments, photographs, biographies, or any other information you want to share about your child with our community of bereaved parents. Once registered, you will be a member of the
Prayer Team and will receive Prayer Registry reminders one day before the anniversary day of one of our kids.

Please feel free to email any questions, concerns or feelings that you would like to share. My door is always open. I hope that this site provides some small
measure of balm for the wounds of loss. From one bereaved parent to another, I welcome you to my site and offer my support.

This is one club that none of us would join by choice, but since we find ourselves in this unthinkable place, we stand stronger when we stand side by side.


5. Cindy Mc - September 28, 2010

My son died 3 years and 9 months ago on Thursday. Dustin was 34. I did not know of his death for 3 days , it was New Years weekend and I knew what his plans were, to pick up his girlfriend at the airport on the 31st. and go to a hotel and spend the night, I spoke with him on the phone on the 29th so I was not worried when I did not hear from him on the 1st. The omly difference I can see now in myself is I don’t cry as long now but hardly a day goes by that I don’t tear up.I have two other children and 3 beautiful grandchildren but I have become a basket case for worrying that something will happen to one or more of them. If I hear a siren I panic, would really appreciate some input on how to handle this.



guinever - October 14, 2010

Dear Cindy,
I am so sorry to hear about the death of your son. I can certainly understand your worry about losing another significant person in your life. I too have these same fears and just have to make the conscious decision to not let myself be overtaken by them. It is difficult, but I pray and ask God for help. These fears do get easier over time. You are still so very early in your grief!! Have you considered counseling–either with a pastor or another professional counselor?

Prayers and hugs to you, Guinever


6. GriefOut - November 20, 2010

Yes really with time you can learn to live with what happened, and when the years go by, to maintain or create the fondest memories.


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