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dropping petals in march March 18, 2014

Posted by guinever in grief, healing, life, loss, moving on.
Tags: , , ,

i walk upon this barren land; it’s cold
the season that has no color
the ground and trees are dark and gray and brown

scattered around me are the stones
etched with names and dates and poems
symbols, the markers of death, of no more life

buried here are the children
who never lived outside the womb
who were born and breathed, but died
and some like mine who lived longer, but not so long at all

this place beckons me every march
nine years ago death came and grabbed her
and took her breath away
it took my breath too, but left me living

buried far away from here and not too long ago
are the bones of her grandmother
she would walk this place with me
with love and tears, but she never will again

and now this march i grieve
for both my mother and my daughter
but I know that they’re together

i bring flowers to this grave
that are dead and nine years old
white roses dried and kept
the same ones that had been draped on a little casket

they’ve been sitting on my dresser
dropping petals into their vase
gathering dust, lots of dust
i’ve held onto them,  cherishing them

but I scatter them now, releasing the dust
these petals, the color of earth
some will blow away
some will cling to ground or stone

the crumpled petals unleash the tears
i try to let go of this burden
will I be lighter?

soon this landscape will come alive with spring,
the colors will chase the brown away
daffodils and forsythia and tulips
cherry trees will drip with pink blossoms

i’ll come back to see the spring
and smell the sweetness
and drive these tears away
and think of those i’ll  see again



1. April Ann - March 18, 2014

This is beautiful.

May you find deep comfort in Christ.


2. Karla - March 18, 2014

Thank you for sharing this expression of your heart, Guinever.


3. Claire - March 19, 2014

Beautiful, Guinever. Thank you for sharing.


4. Angela - March 19, 2014

Thank you for inviting me into this poignant moment. *hug*


5. Wanda - March 19, 2014

Thank you for being so real and sharing the hard places. Wanda


6. Leslie - March 19, 2014

So beautifully written. I can relate as each anniversary and birthday
allows the grief to surface as I continue to miss Evie and Caroline.
May God comfort you as only He can do.


7. Sarah Graddy - March 19, 2014

love you Guinever…thinking of you


8. San - March 20, 2014

May we both find comfort in the words; “…we will always be with the Lord”
Peace be with you Sis.


9. elizabeth - March 20, 2014

Brave Mama penning all these heart words and releasing them to us. Thank you for continuing to teach me what it means to grieve. xoxo


10. Christina Scribner - March 21, 2014

Thinking of you friend and praying for you.


11. puzzledbythepieces - October 2, 2014



12. sherrie - March 22, 2015

This is so beautiful and sad at the same time. You truly have a gift for expressing how you feel. Breaks my heart for yours and has brought me to tears. I will never understand the pain you must endure. But I pray you have peace and joy in knowing you will see her again. Love you.


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